I know a little something about remote work loneliness

And how to move through it.

This topic begs repeating because I came across a few more people recently in my own professional community that are struggling with this. I first wrote about it here.

Some key indications of loneliness that I felt personally was that I was feeling increasingly disengaged with work whereas normally I am genuinely optimistic and helpful at work. I thought I had been around enough people to not be lonely. I have a family at home and would go to gym each morning before work. I thought that being around people meant I couldn’t feel lonely.

Yet there I was- feeling lonely. To be fair work was also high-stress at the time. I was also working 100% from home which is a pure luxury but for me, it was not in my best interest. What pulled me out of it specifically (without fully knowing at first) was launching a personal project as mentioned here.

While I’m not sure the specifics of why it pulled me out of work remote work loneliness, I have some theories:

- The project gave me something to focus on that was exciting and not stressful
- This particular project involved being around kids, which if you know anything about kids- they bring the fun. And a lot of fun was had!
- When you’re around kids, you don’t even have a chance to get stuck in your thoughts, they keep you plenty busy!
- The project also involved the adults in my community which meant, my social circle expanded exponentially
- The project was based around a physical activity so there was an increase in movement at least 1x day per week when the project first kicked off. This meant that on those nights of participating in my community project, I went to bed happily exhausted from all that service-based activity.

So while I’m not a mental health specialist, I really do believe in the power of personal projects as a way to refocus our minds on growing something vs just working. Personal projects tend to involve others, or learning something new which opens up new thought patterns in our minds instead of just thinking about work. They may also have you meeting up with more people than usual and therefore connecting on a shared interest. That sense of connection with others fosters a sense of belonging, which I do believe is a salve for loneliness.

Since launching that personal project, other personal projects have cropped up to help me keep this theory alive.

I’ve shared this theory with my colleagues that are suffering from loneliness and they bring up a good concern- “What if I don’t have enough energy to start a personal project?”. This is a valid concern, because I do remember feeling quite exhausted during those stressful and lonely times. And therefore speaking from my direct experience, I can only say that once I had something fun and exciting to focus on by way of my personal project, a new source of energy emerged. Maybe it was inspiration, maybe it was adrenaline (I mean, my project did involve skateboarding), but whatever you want to call it, I felt it as a renewable stream of energy that was constantly giving back. The exhaustion shifted over time and the energy of purpose took over.

So if you or someone you know is suffering from remote work loneliness, please do consider listening to that little voice inside that has always encouraged you to start that new hobby, or volunteer at that organization, or learn that new language, or launch that personal project. Whatever it is, it is worth pursing if is slowly at first. This project will bring the energy of something new into your world vs the feelings of being alone and disengaged. And if you would like to have a personal conversation about your exact situation, please do reach out (email me). I’d love to offer an open ear and maybe some ideas on getting your personal project off the ground (if that’s what feels right for you).

Thanks for reading,

Diane